I've been thinking about changing the beginning. Actually, I'm going to change a lot. I'll summarize the old story and talk about the changes I'll be adding to it, and I'd like any suggestions in regards to improving it further or leaving things as is.
Old Story:
- Jonah sees asteroid while Willie's visiting
- He assumes the world is gonna end because he's a dumbass
- He emails nasa. (alternative is that he sleeps on the idea and asks his dad about it in the morning, which leads to a game over)
- Nasa demands certain items, and Jonah ditches school the next morning to get them. (alt. is that he asks his dad to get the things and GWL tells Jonah its impossible = game over)
- The items are donuts, nude mags, and vicodin
- Jonah gets the donuts after getting Lois a bearded dragon (any other pet won't change the course of the story until you get the dragon)
- Jonah gets the nude mags after giving Nemo a clone of himself for a son (alt. is just not getting the mags, but no game over, just an alternate ending)
- Jonah talks to the pharmacist (Dr. Pi) to get the vicodin. After getting her a date, she doesn't budge, so Jonah talks to Missy about stealing some for him.
- Jonah sends the package to the PO BOX
- Jonah waits a week, never gets a response, and asks GWL about the asteroid
- GWL clears it up and says it wasn't a fucking asteroid, it was just a stupid satellite you idiot
- Jonah writes an angry letter to "nasa" and demands his shit back
- "Nasa writes back saying he's not dead because the stuff saved the world
- Jonah is gullible and feels like he actually fucking saved the world
- GWL tries to correct him but Jonah doesn't curr
- Alternate ending is that because there are no nude mags, the "nasa" representative (Bri) shows up to Jonah's house asking for them.
- Jonah believes she's actually a representative and gives Bri his laptop as an alternative.
- Bri just takes it and congratulates Jonah in saving the world the end.
The ending is kiiiiinda rusty so I wanted to change it since forever. These are the new changes I wanna add.
- Jonah, Willie, and Lia are at the observatory.
- Lia recently learned about a neutron star and tells Jonah about the characteristics of one (blue light, can only be seen in a telescope, etc)
- She tricks Jonah to believe that Neptune is actually a neutron star, and that its rays could destroy the earth. She offers to write a letter to NASA and Jonah lets her.
- Next day she visits Jonah with instructions from NASA. Basically NASA has demands: donuts, mags, and vicodin (the list might change idk).
- Basically the story of how Jonah gets these things will be the same, but Lia will serve as someone Jonah communicates to to get information from him instead of him just thinking out loud (like Maya Fey in Ace Attorney).
- In the end, it's revealed the demands were actually from Lia's mother (Celena), and Lia added the donuts herself because she was hungry. Her excuse is that she's poorer than Jonah (which is true) and used her own knowledge of space against his curiosity for it.
- Lia's basically the one who starts everything and ends it.
- I literally just learned about neutron stars today so idk if anything is right or wrong, but Lia would omit the parts about the radiations reaching earth almost a century before it's completely destroyed.
Sooo? Tell me what you think?
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